Thank you!

Thank you to all who have visited this site recently. It is always fun to see the counter bumping up with each visit.

School has started up again, and I am getting hit pretty hard. Professors like to push you to quit for some reason. Do they not see that the more students stay on the better that professor's job security is? Jeesh! Someone ought to talk to them about that. (Not me, though. I'll be too busy reading their 65 pages per night and writing briefs and proofs on their 5 cases including footnotes and subsections and cross-references and keys and hidden messages, etc, so that I won't be the moron who gets embarassed when yon professor calls on me out of the blue to stand and explain the reasoning of some judge whose name I can't pronounce and whose torturously long-drawn-out opinion I sorted out just 4 hours earlier prior to going to a bed which I haven't seen since 16 hours ago.) Breath in. Breath out.

Anyway, I guess what I am saying is that I may have a difficult time breaking away from the amusements of first year law school to keep this site updated very regularly. But I will not abandon you. Just keep checking back at least 2 or 3 times an hour to see if you will be the first to read my radomly entered musings.

P.S. If anyone else would like to contribute a short paragraph about life in the real world, too bad! Get your own site! Hahahahahahahahahaha....cough, cough, sputter... ha. No, really, just send it to me at ikinya6@yahoo.com ,and if I think that it rises to the highest of standards as set forth in the examples of my previous entries (this one not included - because it is not a previous entry), and shows a strong line of reasoning and thoughtful meditation, and I agree with it, and I think you might get your feelings hurt if I don't publish your thoughts, then I might (notice the emphasis the "might") just include it for the rest of the cyberworld to enjoy (or at least the 3 or 4 of you who even look at this site).

How now brown cow

I do not want to get into the habit of snatching up one of those pass-along funny e-mails and posting it on my blog, but this one really got me. If you haven't seen it already, I think you will enjoy it, and will forgive me this one time. I promise it will seldom happen again. (I edited a little bit, and added my own at the end.) Also, I wish I could give credit to whoever originated this, but I do not know. I hope he/she won't mind my publishing it.


POLITICAL SCIENCE 101 - - 2006**
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.They make real California cheese.Only five speak English.Most are illegal.Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

LIBERAL
You have two cows.
Unfortunately, your cows are burping and farting and melting the polar ice caps.
However, you can't slaughter the cows, because that would be cruel.
But you can sign them up for Medicare.
They are then treated for gastrointestinal problems and collect disability checks because they can no longer work.
They sue you for illegal imprisonment, and you are forced to join the peace corps and install freezers in Antarctica

Rember the joke about...

Air conditioner salesmen in Alaska?

No, really.

The Inuit (Eskimos, as we called them in my day) are buying air conditioners! I'd like to shake that guys hand (except that it was probably Gore, so can I just pass on the hand shaking?).

According to Mr. Alister Doyle of Reuters, Monday, Aug 7, it is apparently so warm in Alaska that the Eskimos need an air conditioner. Reaching highs of 88, those fellows just can't stand it any longer. Check it out at this address:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060807/sc_nm/environment_warming_dc

In case it doesn't work, let me quote a little here:

"Better known for building igloos during hunts on the polar ice, Inuit in the village of Kuujjuaq in Quebec, Canada, are installing 10 air conditioners for about 25 office workers.
"These are the times when the far north has to have air conditioners now to function," said Sheila Watt-Cloutier, a leading campaigner for the rights of 155,000 Inuit in Canada, Alaska, Russia and Greenland.
"Our Arctic homes are made to be airtight for the cold and do not 'breathe' well in the heat with this warming trend," she said. Temperatures in Kuujjuaq, home to 2,000 people, hit 31 Celsius (88 Fahrenheit) in late July."

Mr. Alyster Doyle uses this as an example of the impending doom that is global warming. Also, there is some reference to my dear mission country of Norway, where some poor vendor is complaining about selling ice cream... or not selling ice cream today because... it is raining.

"Today we've sold almost nothing," said Miriam Eid Bergan, 20, working at an ice cream parlor in Oslo's main street and looking out the window as people hurried past in the rain. "When it's sunny the queue can stretch down the street."

Uh, am I missing something here? Who buys ice cream in the rain, anyway? So, is the fact that it is raining in Oslo the oh-so-sought-after hard evidence that SUV drivers in Texas are causing global warming? It seems I saw a few showers myself when I was there, and that was before the day of the SUV.

Well, not to spoil the ending to this story, but...

maybe the Eskimos didn't necessarily buy the a/c's for the cool air. Mr. Eskimo-Inuit-American-Canadian admits, down there at the bottom of the page, that they bought them more to keep the dust from coming in the open windows and getting all over their nice, new computers.

"Larry Watt, mayor of Kuujjuaq, said one reason for ordering air conditioners was to stop dust from outside blowing into computers. Before the municipality owned computers, the windows could be kept open in hot weather."

And as for Mr. Oslonian and his ice cream stand, it appears he purgered himself when he claimed to have such a long line on sunny days.

"And Bergan in the ice cream shop in Oslo said: "People are buying fewer ice creams here than five years ago ... Maybe they're buying somewhere else or they worry about eating so much sugar."

See, he, too, admits that maybe he overstated his position a little bit, and in the interest of full disclosure, people are really not buying his ice cream, because they don't like the sugar? or maybe they are buying it elsewhere? Or maybe they don't think it's quite hot enough to buy ice cream. Or maybe they don't buy from you because maybe you're a liar? Or maybe they have finally up and moved to America where we can still buy SUV's (if we want).

Or perhaps, they are on business trips... to sell air conditioners to the Eskimos.