At Home in Dagobah

Just took a little self-analysis and found myself likened to the great sage...

So, howzabout you?

I'm Back (I think...)

It looks like I was trying to sign in with the wrong email. But I knocked a few heads, kicked a few butts, and got things done. I'm back on the blog, but my head just doesn't seem to be in it right now. Not sure why. This is an exciting time in politics, I know. And I've been following it, and, of course, have opinions. But between work and school, I just enjoy sitting and relaxing, vegging out, racing, and playing with the family. I'll probably get back into this blogging thing soon. I just have to get the groove back. (Yeah, "How Sammy got his Groove Back").

Until then, I'll probably post a few boring things, maybe a few personal things, a few funny things, and a few things political.

I said I like racing. Funny story alert. Mrs. The Practicalist came in after cleaning the bedroom with a brand new Gran Turismo 4 for the PlayStation 2. Said she found it back behind some books. I had been wanting one for a long time now. We couldn't figure out whether we had borrowed it a while back and just forgot to return it (yeah, don't loan me anything). Mrs. The Practicalist thought it was something I had lost. When she discovered that I had no idea we had ever had the game, she wished she had not said anything - badabing, badaboom - another Christmas gift!

Well, I later discovered a receipt hiding behind the instruction manual. It hit me. Shaking off the amnesia, I suddenly began to see myself, having received a few dollars cash for Christmas last year, excitedly purchasing a video game I had been wanting for a long time. It was so satisfying... until I put it in the console, only to find that the console didn't want to read it. I even took it back for an exchange. That didn't work either. It was a long time, and a few price reductions, before we could afford a new console. When we finally did it, I so wanted a Gran Turismo 4 to play on it! I almost purchased one.

So, how often do you get the same Christmas gift two years in a row, and are just as surprised and excited the second time around? Maybe there is a bright side to alzheimers.

Hell is Getting More Crowded All the Time

Gotta love Huckabee. When he first started running for office, a lady asked him, "Are you one of those narrow-minded Baptist ministers who think only Baptists will go to heaven?" He replies, "Actually I'm more narrow than that. I don't think all the Baptists are going to make it."

Sorry 'bout being out of the loop. The semester is winding down, and the pressure is ratcheting up. But, I thought you might be interested in this article. The Huckster just might be someone to watch.

...and Wiser, too?

It's my birthday today. My sweetheart won't let me forget this sad reminder of my gradual demise. She even linked to me so all her blogger buddies could leave me birthday wishes. So I figured I'd better create a post to receive those greetings.

Turning another year is not so bad, though. Although my body is more than happy to comply with the requirements of aging, my mind still thinks I'm in my early 20's. It also thinks I still look as good (poor sap). I sometimes wish it was the other way -- a 37 year old mind in a 20-something year old body. Now wouldn't that be nice! I suppose I do have control over both situations (or I did, anyway). Had I properly nurtured both, I probably would have both.
But to think of all the buttery mashed potatoes, pumpkin pies, samoked ribs, pulled pork, homemade truffles, and Taco Bell I would have missed out on. I'm not doin' so bad, all things considered.

In any case, I am what I am. What a great thing to be! And if I say so myself, "Happy Everyday to me!"

(That is from a Dr. Seuss book, I believe it's "Oh, the Places You'll Go". That Dr. Seuss, That Dr. Seuss. I do so like that Dr. Seuss.)

Much Appreciated

A little belated, perhaps, but I have been honored with my first award. My sister in T-Town lauded me with some very nice praises. Naturally, being the three-year recipient of "The Most Humble Man on Earth" award, (I put up billboards to make sure people could find my house for that one), I feel it only proper to alert you to nice things being said about me (even if I was her second choice for the award :) ).

Thanks, Boots!

Top 1 Worst Music Poll

I certainly believe everyone has a right to his opinion. As my dearest says, however, opinions are like buttholes... everyone has one but no one really wants to see it.

Well, I found perhaps the biggest buttholes to ever grace the anals of music journalism. My guess is, these lists were comprised by a group of twenty-somethings, influenced by a thirty-something or two, who are are so shallow they make my spit look like the Atlantic Ocean. I mean, of all the songs ever written since the beginning of the recorded music, "Billy Jean"??! And let me just point out a few of the worst ever: Meat Loaf "I'd do Anything for Love", Simon and Garfunkel "The Sounds of Silence", Dan Fogelberg "Longer", Five for Fighting "Superman", "Ebony and Ivory", and, in case there is still any doubt as to my characterization of these "people", Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue". In their immature blasting of the Honorable Mr. Keith, they proclaim the song "a fight anthem so vengeful it makes 'The Star-Spangled Banner' look like 'Give Peace a Chance'". Need I say more?

Anyway, I thought you might have fun perusing the lists while thanking God you're not half as dimwitted as these folks.

BTW, sorry I haven't been here to enlighten you as to truth and right. I have been rather taken up by school and earning a living and such.

Laugh at the Lawyer

Lawyer, Attorney, Advocate, Pondscum, Hot Wind. Call them what you will. This is the place to post your pundifery and pontification regarding them.

If you have a joke or humorous anecdote about lawyers, I want to hear it.

Rules:


So have at it! Hit me with your best shot. I can take it... and if it turns out I can't take it, I'll sue.

So... Who are the 79?

The House, in a "bold" attempt to condemn politics, declared MoveOn's Betrayus ad a betrayal. While I agree that it is contemptuous, dispicable, disgusting, ugly, filthy, treasonous, dishonest, loathsome, hate-filled, immature, slanderous, revolting, repulsive, sickening, ghastly, sordid, horrid, nauseating, vile, foul, abhorrent, detestable, and distasteful, I think it is almost equally poor taste for the media to allow Democrats to so anonymously play politics with the issue.

If you read the article, you will not find a single mention of any of the 79 reps who voted against this condemnation. I mean, as soon as I saw that there were 79 people in all of America who would even think this was OK, my first thought is "why?", and then the immediate follow up question, "who?" Naturally, Mr. Media felt it was not in my best interest to know the answers to those questions. Or perhaps he is merely tired of doing all the reporting work for me, and is trying to help me hone my own investigative skills. Perhaps he thinks I am just too lazy. (He may have a point there.) Regardless, I thought this is why we pay him (or, well, somebody pays him).

The other problem with this whole vote is that, unless the vote is recorded as a roll call, it is OK for any Democrat to safely appear appalled by the ad without actually biting off the hand that feeds him/her.

Maybe I'll get off my butt and look it up. Maybe I won't. Won't matter, anyway. If I do it, the only people who will know the truth will be the two or three of you who are still with me. Maybe instead, the three of us can get together with torches and storm this reporter's castle... or play Madden 2007.

Do you mind? I'm watching a game, here!

Growing up in Tulsa, you have what is referred to as "The Big Four": Oklahoma Sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Tulsa Hurricane, and Arkansas Razorbacks. If you are a wealthy snobbish golf-in-your-spare-time upper crustacean, you naturally root for the Sooners. If you are a laid back farm-grown good ol' boy, you are a Cowboy.




Oh, the other two?

Well, Arkansas is a long way away, but there's just something about them.

If you've got nothing going on a Saturday night, you can probably score a couple of complimentary tickets to the Tulsa game. Of course, you'll probably want to ask who they're playing... not that it matters.

Don't get me wrong, it's cool to root for the Hurricane (don't ask me why 'Hurricane' in the middle of Tornado country... and its the Golden Hurricane... single entity... no 's').

Tulsa has seldom been anything to get embarrassed about. They have a great quarterback program, and when they get some good support, they put on a tremendous aerial show. Now and again, they give "The Big Two" of "The Big Four" a good run for the money accompanied by a respectable upset.

After outscoring BYU last week, Tulsa is taking on Boomer Sooner in Tulsa tonight. As the wife and kids have abandoned me, I thought I would relax and take it in. The game is going fine. Tulsa actually looked pretty good there for the first half of the first quarter. Cool. If they can spank OU tonight, the economy of the entire state will probably take a two week slump as business execs decide whether to fire the coach or just take down the four-story banners.

But I guess it was already a foregone conclusion by the ESPN2 folks that Tulsa's butt was in the process of being kicked. To pass the time between commercials, they spent the entire second half of the first quarter, and then the first half of the second quarter discussing why Notre Dame sucks this year. Notre Dame!? The absolute worst team in college football (this is not an opinion, it is actually documented)!?

If this game means so little to you that you've got to call two former Notre Dame coaches just to have something to talk about... how about you just SHUT UP!!! It's not like you're contributing anything anyway. You don't even need to be here. I think I can figure out what's happening on my own.

You're WHERE?!

If you're not into bathroom humor... don't worry. This isn't that bad.



So, I walk into this bathroom, and from the stall, I hear this:

"Hey, Man."

Was he talking to me?

"You doin' all right?"

Uhhh...


That's when it hit me. He's on a cell phone...




sitting on the pot...




And then (here comes the punch line, sitting on the pot, talking on the phone)...




"Did I catch you at a bad time?"

Who to Listen to?

OK, like, once there was a politician, an "independent" analyst, and a four star general, and a genie. Well, no genie. But the others were there. So, OK, like, they are prognosticating over the success of, like, this war, right?

The politician says, "Like, I was against it from the beginning, so you should, y'know, listen to my analysis."


The "independent" analyst says, "Like, I am getting paid for my analysis, so like, there is no bias in my analysis, yo."



And the four star general says,









"No one is more conscious of the loss of life than the commander of the forces. That is something I take and feel very deeply. And if I did not think that this was a hugely important endeavor, and if I did not think that it was an endeavor in which we could succeed, I would not have testified as I did to you all here today."

You decide who has more credibility.

The Inside Scoop

I've got an inside scoop. How often does that happen?
But in my generousness, I have decided to share it with you, so that you, like me, may have an inside view.

My buddy over at Azzamatterofact (see the sidebar) is buddies with the great John McCain. Well, maybe not buddies, but he has spoken with him, more than once (I think). OK, well, he works on the campaign, but he knows what is going on with the man's campaign. It's still more than you've got.

Anyway, I promised him that if he would keep us up to date on McCain's campaign, I'd link to him.
(Disclaimer) This is not an endorsement of John McCain, yet. It is for entertainment purposes only, and not to be used as toilet paper or currency.

Actually, I watched McCain on George Snuffaluffagus's's's morning show, and was in admiration of his stance on the importance of this war. He handled himself, and George, very well. I don't remember exactly what it is that I'm not crazy about him for. I'm also too lazy right now to think too much about it, or go look for it. But I do know that I have been (oh, yeah, his boneheaded campaign finance reform, for starters) an admirer of his military stance, especially after he and Alf's dad, Sen. Lieberman, came out in support of the proposed surge. McCain understands the significance of both victory and defeat. We will do well to understand that, as well.

Whoever gets the Republican nomination should adopt McCain's stance regarding this war. There is a big hole in the center of NYC to remind us why.

No Offense to Osama...

But I'd have to say that, while your little speech delivered from Chamber 16 of Cave 321b, in the barren rocks of Northern Pakistan, gave us much to blog about, it did little in the way of intimidation. See, I am sitting in my soft leather sofa, watching the Cowboys take on the Giants, in a 77 degree air conditioned living room, having just recently come in from a leisurely 50 mile drive around the beautiful green hills of NW Arkansas. I was able to enjoy another Sunday contemplating my relationship with God, and enjoying the companionship of my wife and children.

And while you may consider yourself somewhat of a leader, exercising loose control over a ragtag bunch of hate-filled naive footsoldiers who skank around in the shadows because they know they'd get their butts kicked in any sort of physical matchup with a real American, I can sleep tonight knowing there are thousands of honorable men and women whose strength comes from service as they willingly defend my ability to evaluate the merits of your invitation to convert to your religion, and confidently decline said invite.

John Kerry is certain that I am insulted that you are still able to make such a video. John Kerry is a moron, who is insulted that you did not mention him by name.

So, Mr. bin, while we are having this little dialogue, let me extend this invitation to you. You are hereby cordially invited to get down on your knees and kiss my [insert body part here (I'll say Big Toe)].

Toodles.

p.s. If this little message offends you or your followers, please reference the previous paragraph.

I'm a Dhimmi, He's Dhimmi, Wouldncha Like to Be a Dhimmi, Too

Captain's Quarters has a rather succinct summary of Osama Helpme GetLaden's latest request for America's surrender.
It seems like the Democrats can't even deliver when it comes to surrender. How can they expect to run the most powerful country on earth?

This is the first time I have heard the word Dhimmi, but it's kinda catchy, don't ya think.
I'm not sure just exactly what it means, but it seems like something Herr Osama wants us to become.
Could you see me as a Dhimmi? I wonder where you would put that on a resume.

Run, Fred, Run

Well, Freddy joined the hunt. I know he's done well in the blogosphere, and he has been campaigning outside of the campaign, which people really love. (I think it results from a fear of jumping on a bandwagon, and losing credibility in conversations.) I'm not sure how that will translate in the real world. I can't say as I am an avid fan. I just don't see him as president. On one hand, I fear that his appearance and mannerisms will result in another Bob Dull campaign. On the other hand, where Dole was a liberal Repub, Thompson is certainly not.

What I do like is the perspective he brings to the mix of candidates. This is always good. I like that he admits that he does not have all the answers to our problems, but that no one else does, either. I think that he brings a level of practicality to the field. If the others are smart, and I think some of them are, they will analyze why he has such support, and find a way to internalize some of his platform into their own. If they can pull it off without being disingenuous (and I think it can be done at this early stage), they can nab some of his support, add it to what they already have, and emerge as a viable candidate.

I really don't think there is such a divergence between him and Romney, that Romney can't garnish Fred's supporters. As I've said before, Romney is more winnable in the North, while not necessarily loseable in the South. Fred will have a harder time in the North, especially in some states (MA?) where the Repub would need to grab votes.

Most of their stances are pretty similar. True, Romney's have changed recently, but they honestly do not think the changes were disingenuous. Romney believes what he is campaigning on. Other than the Mormon issue, which Mitt will need to address again, the two aren't all that far apart.

What I am a little nervous about with Fred is that he appears ideologically driven. It may be unfair to say that without some more research on my part, but I'm going to say it here, anyway. I think, as Repubs, we have a good mixture of ideas. I only hope we do not allow ideology to overshadow reality. Sometimes reality is a harder sell, but it pays off well in the long run.

Bear With Me

I have to apologize to my faithful few. School has started back up and so my focus has been more appropriately elsewhere, lately. I try to keep up with things politick, but just don't get much chance to comment. While taking a full load of school, I am also working 3 jobs for about 30 work hours a week (still much less than when I was in undergrad). I blog when I can, but y'know, nurturing a strong family relationship requires a little time away from the laptop. I like my wife, and I think she likes me, too. I want to keep it that way. My chitlins are growing up behind my back. They all have birthdays coming up in the next three months, and I have tried to bargain with them to let them have a birthday so long as they promise to quit growing up. They're not willing to cooperate with that (and yet they still want to have a birthday...).


On another note, I forgot to mention that I grilled dolphin last weekend. I am not a fish-eater. I don't know why, either. I used to love fish as a kid. I remember liking it, and I don't remember what caused me to change. I would like to like fish. This dolphin helped me begin to accomplish that. I marinated it in some yellow carolina BBQ sauce (they like mustardy italian dressing for BBQ sauce out east. Makes for a better marinade than a dipping sauce, in my never to be humble opinion). Then I grilled it over some pretty hot lump charcoal until it started to flake, then flipped it over to grill the skin side for a few minutes. I tell you what, it was some pretty darn good eats. Tasted a little sweet, actually. My buddy has some more cuts (he caught it in So.Car. this summer), so I'm sure I'll be roasting up some more. I downed it along with a thick cut t-bone steak, grilled to perfection, along with some grilled onion (slice it thick, drizzle w/ olive oil and sprinkle with rosemary, then grill until translucent), fresh mashed potatoes, and corn.

I know it wasn't a smoke, but boy was it a good grilling!

Happy eats!

Hello? Hogs? Hello?

Sorry, I was just calling the Hogs. Don't know that they were answering, though.

Thanks to a great friend of mine, I got to attend the opening game for my Razorbacks. "We" played Troy (yeah, I had to wonder the same thing... not sure just where they are from, either). It was a great time, fun atmosphere. Whenever Mr. Obnoxious, who sat two rows down, would sit down, the seats were really great. They were on the 25 yard line, looking almost directly down on the field. I think most people stay sitting out of fear that if you lean too far forward you might just fall straight down on top of the home team. The stadium is built in a way that every seat is a good one.

I'm a little concerned with the way this season is going to turn out. McFadden is a powerhouse, as is Jones. "We" can run the ball, and... let's see... "we" can run the ball... and then there is the run. That about sums up the team this season.

On another note...

remember my post about the wonderful man (?) who designed the Chevy Astro van? Yeah, he stuck it to me again. This time, its the A/C tube. Guess where the hole is... yeah, under the dog house.

I brought the van in to the mechanic down the road, told him my a/c wasn't working. No problem, he said, we'll just hook it up to this here machine that will spend a few hours sucking out the old freon and adding new, along with some dye, so that "we" can check it later if it starts running out of freon again. I'm OK with paying a mechanic a fair wage, but machines just don't have wives and kids at home, and, imo, shouldn't be charging me the same hourly rate. I can give it money to go get a sno cone or something, but c'mon. Anyway, after $175 of personalized machine service, we were,once again, enjoying the comforts of warm air blowing at max in the middle of the summer.

We made it to a good friend of mine, who looked under the hood, then climbed under the van, reached his hand up, and felt the big wide gaping hole where the tube rubbed up against the transmission. Fortunately, he didn't charge me for his 2 1/2 minutes of mechanic diagnosis (although I would have gladly paid it).

Now, why is it that the guy I pay to fix the air has to hood it up to a sucking machine for two hours, just to SEE if there might actually be a leak (isn't that why I brought it in?), but then didn't look to SEE if there was actually a leak, and my friend, who is not (yet) a paid mechanic could find it by simply reaching up and touching the hole?

Now, I get the privilege of paying some $400 to replace a tube, which wouldn't be quite so bad if it wasn't in ADDITION to the $175 of wasted freon.

Record Setting Month!!

I have been blogging for about a year and a half now. I have not done a whole lot to promote this site, and sometime it gets a little frustrating to see how few people view it. But I use it primarily to think things through, and develop my thoughts, and sometimes fish for input and dialogue. Sometimes, I have gotten some really nice dialogue, which has caused me to reconsider a few things. I like that.

Well, this month was my best so far, as far as numbers go. It rivaled April, which shows to have gotten one more visit. But in April, I didn't have the counter set to not count many of my visits. For all of August, my visits didn't count, and I still came in with 174 visits, only one shy of April's visits.

So, thank you. And welcome to the few of you who have found my site, and returned, and commented (especially welcome to Shoprat and Redneck).

Six of One...

I apologize if the music you are hearing is a little grinding on the nerves. I kind of like it, and there is a reason it is playing now. I have always thought it was pretty cool when the same song gets made in different ways. Music is awesome that way. Don't like a song, change it to fit your style. Don't like a style, but like the song, change it to your style.

One of the most versatile songs has to be "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", as you can see from the playlist. I don't expect anyone to suffer through the entire versions of all those. But take a moment to tap on each of them, and see what I mean. Some, like what you are listening to now, are rock based and loud. Some have changed the intro, but kept the main tune. I think IZ (Israel Hakinakinakiolo'aloha) has one of the most interesting, and beautiful, versions. I first heard it at the end of a movie (don't get me to lying about which one), and loved it.

This song has been through Hollywood musical, blues, rock, country, Broadway, adult contemporary, big band, et al. It has been twisted, pulled, pushed, hurried, slowed, mangled, straightened every which way but loose. It is a timeless tune. Many a version has been mimicked by big names and small, alike. Through it all, though, there are still only a handful that can never be topped.

Have fun, see what you think. Enjoy.

How Bad is It, Doc?

65%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Dating Site

Life Preserver

It is amazing who you can connect to.

A good friend of mine, a work colleague, was mentioning in passing that his brother was a sculpturer. He then showed me this web site: Bronze Wildlife Sculptures--Fine Art Sculpture by Raymond Gibby

At the bottom of the page is a large fish. This artist is in negotiations with Bass Pro to build something like this that is about 20 feet high. Many of these sculptures are about 3-4 feet tall.

Impeach Clinton

Take a look at this opinion in the Arkansas Traveler (U of A newspaper).

I agree with the writer. I think Bush should be impeached... along with Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld, Laura, Jenna, John Roberts, and Bill Gates. And just for good measure, I'm in the process of writing up articles of impeachment against Mitt Romney, John McCain, and the Rudster. But since neither of them have been crowned king apparent by the MSM, I think it is time we begin preparing proceedings against Hillary, as well. In fact, in a sense, I am hoping she wins. That way we can all just recycle our old "Impeach Clinton" bumper stickers. Only this time, they will be a little more appropriate, what with the "and her husband, too" punchline.

Childhood Idealized

I want to thank the Born Again Redneck for a wonderful post regarding the relics and joys of his childhood. My girls have a PS2, a computer, satellite and other distractions unintentionally intended to keep them indoors. I guess we use them to give them something to do while they are indoors, but I'm afraid they work in reverse, more often than not.
I was fortunate as a boy to have begun life on a four-acre farm in a small valley community in northern Utah. I remember a few toys, like wooden blocks of various shapes and sizes, HotWheels, and Legos. Any combination of these provided hours of imaginational entertainment. But most favorite of my childhood memories came from the hours spent roaming the barn and shed, climbing the rafters, making mud pies on the sheep hay trough, and riding my bike up to the canal that ran through the town.

My dad then got a job in Tulsa, and we moved into a neighborhood that was under construction. Talk about a young boy's dream playground. There were always sand piles to dig through, jungle gym house frames to climb and explore. Best of all, there were streets to bike and roller skate on. It was not an uncommon day to have 10-12 neighbor kids riding their bikes around the streets, erecting scrap plywood ramps, and finding awesome trails with natural ramps. Falling off your bike at the end of a jump was a regular occurrence, that's why God invented the band-aid and arm sling. We were the bicycle repair facility of the neighborhood. My brothers and I could disassemble a bike, shift a few parts around, and wind up with a new bike in a matter of an hour. At one point, I was charged with the task of sorting the build-up of bike parts in the back yard. I had a pile for wheels, another for handle bars, another for sprockets, and so on. They were pretty sizeable piles at one point.

One day, while riding down the street, I found where a neighbor had thrown a frame in the trash. It looked cool, so I grabbed it and brought it home. After separating the rear bars, where it looked like it had been run over, I sanded it down and repainted it. It was my first experiment with two-tone paint, and for a 10 year old, it wasn't too bad. I threw some parts on it, and came out with a good solid bike.

Two weeks later, my brother had decided his bike needed an upgrade, and for some reason mine become a donor. It wasn't anything, though, for me to throw together another one, and I was back in the pack. We never really got into the newer alloy Mongoose bikes. We just couldn't afford those. Ours were always heavy, but not always as sturdy as those newer bikes.

School was in another neighborhood, about a mile or so away. There was a bus that stopped by my house, but it was nothing to ride to school. I got to where I could stand and pedal without holding the handlebars. That was freedom. Now and again, my brothers and I would gather a few friends for a bike rally, and head to the swimming pool, in yet another neighborhood. Sometimes, we looked like a motorcycle gang, hogging the street.

I don't know at what point riding bikes became a thing of the past.

A couple of years ago, at a garage sale, I came across an old mountain bike and offered $5 to take it off the guy's hands. It didn't fit in the car, so I rode it home. What an exhilarating thrill. The wind in my hair, the road beneath my feet. Zig-zagging across the road, dodging pot holes. Where had those days gone?

I have begun taking my older two on a bike around the neighborhood. They love it. And I love when they attempt to commit me to the next day after dinner. There is a comic book store about a mile away. I think I might take them down there today.

Four Weddings and a Funeral

Y'know, it's hard enough to get thru a conversation about living in Arkansas without discussing the legalities of marrying one's cousin, which then gets the old "I am my own uncle" joke. (See the musical selections next door.) Now, we get to answer questions about baby brides, as well.

As the father of four girls, it's been tempting to pawn them off to anyone who will take them. I better be careful about that, now. I just might get taken up on the offer.

FairTax: Is it really that fair?

I will begin by admitting ignorance on this issue. There is a movement afoot to replace the federal taxation system with a national sales tax. It has been floated around for years, but it apparently has been introduced by a bill in Congress. While I am not coming out against it just yet, I am also very hesitant to endorse it.

I will try to include links as I find them. I think this is worthy of investigation, and we should be fully aware of the ramifications before accepting such a drastic overhaul.

Here are a few I have found so far:

Off the Fence (Plain Language Explanation)
FairTax.org (frequently asked questions)

I have a few concerns:
1. It may not be as fair as it sounds. As members of the Mormon church, we pay a tithe of 10%. Having had good years and poor years, I can confidently attest to the fact that 10% becomes more of a sacrifice the lower one's income falls. To give you an example, someone making $300 per week (approximately $15,000 annually) will pay $30 in tithing. Doesn't sound like much, until you look at everything else that has to come out of the leftovers. Just to pay rent will likely consume almost two weeks' income. And that is for basic comforts. Contrast that with the person making $1500 per week ($approx $76,000 annually). He will pay $150 per week, but the $1350 remaining will go a lot further. He can likely pay his mortgage in one week, and his house will be one of choice, rather than necessity. He will then have more discretionary income left over the rest of the month.
This is not an attempt at class warfare. I have no problem with successful people. It usually denotes people who have made better decisions, or taken advantage of opportunities. But, in the current tax situation, the first fellow, if he has a family, will likely have no federal taxes taken out of his check. Thus, he is living mostly free of federal taxation. Under the FairTax plan, he will receive a prebate, based on, presumably, what he would be expected to purchase. But does this take into account that he was already living on moneys not already taxed? On that income, every dollar has more value to the wage-earner.

2. The presumption seems to be that companies, relieved of corporate taxes, will magically reflect this relief in their pricing structures. I can't buy into this. I am not saying that business execs are evil, any more than politicians. But the maxim would seem to hold that once assessed, taxes seldom are revoked. Thus, while those who are taxed in their paychecks might see more money on the front end, those who had enjoyed the lower withholding (and have adapted their budget to survive at that level) will now be faced with disproportionately higher retail prices (at least until the markets supposedly adjust, as it is presumed the free market will cause to happen).

3. How will this affect charity? Do corporations really donate to charities out of the goodness of their hearts?

4. Will this new plan help us to live more free from government entanglement? Or will it exacerbate the situation?

Just a few concerns... What do you think?

Madam Liberty

This is well worth the read.


I wish I could add to it, but with what?

Such a Ham

You Are a Ham Sandwich

You are quiet, understated, and a great comfort to all of your friends. Over time, you have proven yourself as loyal and steadfast. And you are by no means boring. You do well in any situation - from fancy to laid back. Your best friend: The Turkey Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Grilled Cheese Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

Persecution... Bring it on

I want to thank The Educated Shoprat for bringing this to my attention. I was actually not aware that this was even being produced. I would like to thank Michael Medved for his very insightful and respectful treatment of the Mormon faith and reaction (or non-reaction) to this very inflammatory depiction of an admittedly tragic error in the history of the LDS Church.

It is unfortunate that people can hold on to a grudge that, actually, has very little, if any, effect on their present lives. Living in Arkansas, I have spoken to relatives, as distant as they may be, of the murdered wagon train. I understand that they may never gain a respect for the religion. But to continue to be so angry about it is, in my opinion, nothing more than a justification for repudiating the Mormon faith.

My predecessors suffered extreme depravities, endured pain and hardship, including the deaths of sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, at the hands of murderous mobs. While those people had every right to be angry, I do not. I have suffered humiliation, degredation of reputation, "corrections" to my core beliefs, banishment from Heaven, banishment from social acceptance, among other consequences because I have elected to remain in the faith.

I think I am a good guy. I get along with most people. If you were to ask people who know me, or know of me, they would probably tell you that I'm pretty decent. Amazingly, some of those people will immediately disavow me the moment they discover my Mormonistic inclinations. But as Mr. Medved pointed out, I have no intention of recruiting some 12 year old Deacon to strap bombs to himself to vindicate this affront to my faith.

MickyD Didn't

Employees at McD's should have checked to make sure the guy didn't get cheese on his quarter pounder. They didn't, even after the guy told them numerous times that he is highly allergic to the fake stuff. He took the bag, and, knowing he was highly allergic to cheese, and that there was enough possibility that cheese may end up on his burger that he felt compelled to stress the need for lack of cheese, he took a bite... without even checking to see if his explicit orders were followed.

He goes into a severe allergic reaction and winds up in the hospital. McDonald's, recognizing that they screwed up an order, offered to pay for their share of the mix-up. Then, they agreed to pay the full amount.

That wasn't good enough for this fellow. No, if a woman can catch a windfall for ignoring common sense and hurting herself with some hot coffee, then why can't a guy get paid to be neglectful of his own medical condition?

I agree with The Educated Shoprat. This attorney better have some credibility to his argument or he should face some sanctions. I would imagine McDonald's McLawyer will probably fix up his own supersized McMotion to sanction.

Different Strokes, Folks

John McCain, down but not defeated, argued today that straw polls are meaningless. He may have a point. For him, it would have been rather meaningless to waste his money in Iowa. While he might have made a more respectable showing, I don't think it would have made much of a difference in the amount of actual support. It was clear who the winners would be.

However, to dismiss straw polls as meaningless is nothing more than sour grapes. For lesser-known candidates, these can make a big difference. For Mitt, and perhaps Huck, it was important to their campaigns to make a strong showing. For Mitt, especially, this was a well-calculated maneuver. It doesn't really matter who didn't show up, because Mitt's position was already established. He had figured this as an integral part of a campaign strategy that had been considered and put into place a long time ago.

Rudy Two Shoes didn't want to participate, because, as Mitt gained support, Rudy realized the danger in being shown up by the new guy. As he already had a lot of support nationwide, it would have been detrimental to his success across the rest of the nation. For him, the straw poll was made meaningless by his failure to attend, while at the same time, that failure to attend spoke volumes of his confidence and feel for support.

Each candidate is taking the road that, for him, is the best-calculated for success. To declare his path meaningless is either a miscalculation of one's opponents, or just a political downplay. At this point, for McCain, I would go with political downplay.

Hollow Victory?

I can understand Fred not attending the Ames Straw Poll, he's riding too high on the wave of "give us somebody else" to muddy his support in an actual poll. But I think it was pretty cruddy of Jewels and Cain to skip this one. Especially Jewels. I guess it could be argued that it was smart of him, knowing that he was trailing Mitt, and Huckles was starting to make a showing.

That's why the results, at first, look stunning. Mitt almost doubles Huckles' votes, making a huge showing in the straw poll. And with Huckles coming in second...wow! And that's why I'm a little miffed at Jewels and Cain. They removed a great deal of credibility from the poll. How can we know that Huckles really came in second? Would he have come in ahead of McCain? He is hoping to be able to pick up some cash after this, but from whom?

Mitt makes a good point, though. “It’s too bad the other guys weren’t competing here… but they ‘d have played if they thought they could have won,” he said.

So, with all the excitement of finally getting an idea of who are serious contenders, all we really know is that Tommy has turned his last name over to Fred to carry on the fight. And for those who shall remain nameless, who can't even beat a guy who is not even a candidate and never showed up, it might be time to think of a different direction, like home.

Remember my Blog About Fox?

Here's a link to a pretty funny cartoon about it.

Enjoy!

Look to the Heavens

Born Again Redneck: Perseid meteor shower
Take look at this link. I'm hoping to sneak a peek at it this weekend.

Raising (Mc)Cain

As I have stated before, I am still not jumping wholly behind one candidate. That said, I will admit that I am currently partial to Romney. However, I respect a few others as well, which is great, because if one of them wins the primary, then I won't feel so awkward getting on board. Unlike Bush, who, while I wasn't crazy about during the primaries, looked a heckuvalot better than the alternative in the real race.

I didn't cry, or gasp, or shudder, or even flinch at the news that McCain's campaign seemed to be downsizing. I didn't care, really, except that I like to see things get changed up. Sort of like watching a 500 mile auto race. There are a few exciting moments when someone finally slips past somebody else, otherwise I'm just thankful for remote controls (or kids who will get up and stand there changing channels back and forth until I see something else to watch).

Well, this fellow thinks McCain is back... or never was out... or got done with the bathroom... or something like that. He relies on the fact that McCain spoke to an unexpectedly larger crowd in New Hampshire, while admitting that many of those folks who were there were not necessarily supporters. While I understand his enthusiasm (he is a campaign worker), I must admit that this did nothing to give me the impression that McCain was faring better than expected. After all, this is in New Hampshire, a very important state, and McCain is a very well-know, well-respected figure in national politics, regardless of where you live. Heck, I'd like to go see the man, just to say I was there, and saw the man. McCain is a name that will be around long after these elections. And he was a POW, which is another reason to honor the man with your presence. These are reasons the writer had to set out more chairs. I'd venture to say that he'd probably have to have set out almost that many even if the Senator wasn't running for the White House.

As I said, McCain is a fine man, and I'd have no real issues getting behind him if he emerged as the Republican candidate. At this point, however, I wouldn't be disappointed if he just faded out of the race. But if your looking for signs of a heartbeat, sir, it would appear you may be counting off your own thumb.

What's in a Name?

So, I'm driving home today, listening to NPR (they do some pretty interesting stories during the 5 o'clock hour). But, I got a sad reminder of just how childish members of the press can be.

Reporting on this last press conference before the Prez heads off to vacation (again?), this reporter mentioned him at least 35 times, sometimes several times in the same sentence. Interestingly, though, I never heard the words "the President" or "President Bush" in any of those references. "Mr. Bush" was his nomenclaturistic choice. I noticed this interesting slight about 7 years ago, after "Mr. Bush" was elected president "by the Supreme Court". All this time, I was cautious about pointing this out, so as to avoid being branded paranoidal or conservative schlep. But when a five minute report solely about the President of the United States never refers to the man whose sound bites are being reported on as anything other than "Mr. Bush", I think it conclusively confirms my suspicions. Not only is it rude, whether you like the man or not, but it is also piss-poor journalism, and sounds very choppy.

I'm just saying...

Pander Bears

Some stories just combine elements to form the perfect pun. Take this one, for example:

Hillary, Obama, Brill Boy Johnny Ed, and the ragtag groupies of the AFL-CIO all conversed on Soldier Field in Chicago. All of them claiming to be the voice of the "working man", as unionists like to call themselves (although whether that actually constitutes a misnomer is still up for debate). Two of them clamoring for a reference to the beloved Bears, on whose grass they have trodden to pander, pander, pander. (You see the pun now? 'Pander'...'Bears'... huh? huh? Aw, c'mon, I thought it was good.)

And pander they did. With no real plans to set forth to improve conditions, they instead praised the renovation of the great stadium in which they stood, for the jobs it created. While I have not seen a transcript of these references, I feel quite confident that they did not credit the businessmen whose vision and money funded said renovations. I'm sure, however, that they did call attention to those workers who were not permitted to even bid on the project, as they decided to not pay dues to the AFL-CIO gestapo.

America's Got Talent Deficit Disorder

I don't know exactly why I watch this particular show. I guess because I don't have attention deficit disorder, so I can sit for long periods of time watching drivel like this, where I am told by a washed up actor/singer, a Brit who paraded her defunct family and loser hubby in front of millions of Americans, and another Brit who wouldn't recognize real talent if it was right there... on stage... before.. his... uh, yeah, exactly.

Great acts pop up now and then, only to get shoved aside for the strange and freaky side show that will wind up performing in high school assemblies across the nation.

That every one of these shows is judged by a Brit or Italian, and originally ran on the BBC, only serves to prove my assertion in the title of this post.

Art to Art

This is FANTASTIC! You have got to check this guy out.

I like art, but am often disappointed at what passes for art. Too often, it is merely a statement, often rebellious in nature, or static. What I seldom tire of, however, is watching it be created.

I was the cartoonist on my high school newspaper. I dabbled in art over the years, studied graphic design, made a few t-shirts and designed awards. I now play around with graphic design, but can only dream of making a creation that has any artistic merit. Mine usually get the "That looks pretty cool" or "yeah, that's cute". I get a few accolades now and then. But this guy is a visionary. He can look at the blank canvas, know what he wants to draw out of it, and then enjoy the ride.

Arkie, thru and thru?

This is cool. I have added a link to my side bar to a cool website where you can take a 34 Question survey and find out which candidates you match up with. Low and Behold... I got this guy>



That's right... Mike Huckabee, formerly an Arkansas Gubernator.

Looks like he found it a little ironic, too.

Not too far behind him was Fred Thompson. (Down, Bato, Down)

My man Sam B. was right there in the pack, as was Mitt.

As I said... Interesting...

Frighteningly, I agreed with 49% of Joey Biden?!

Algore wasn't even on the list. Whew!

OutFox'd?

Johnny Ed is leading the Democrappy candidates' boycott of FoxNews. Fearing that the FoxFolks might actually think for themselves, the Democlowns have decided that such activity is worthy of punishment, and have called on each other to refrain from reaching out to people who don't like them.

(Actual Quote: "The time has come for Democrats to stop pretending to be friends with the very people who demonize the Democratic Party," Edwards said in a statement.)


Now, Edwards has turned on the waterworks over the Wall Street Journal falling into the the hands of the dangerously right-winged Murdock.

"Give the money back! Don't take contributions from News Corp. people. They might say bad things about you. Things like, like ...(snif) 'liberal', or 'the Democratic presidential candidate who can't compete with Hillary and Obama.'" (Not actual quote, but it could've been.)

So... if their strategy in the campaign is to run from an uncomfortable situation, what does that say about their leadership should one of them get to be President when he/she/it/? grows up?

Time to Thin the Herd

Newt Bonaparte graced us all with his asses-ment of the field of Republican hopefuls by declaring them to all be a bunch of "pygmies". Thanks, Mr. B. Would that they could all be so tall in wisdom and rotund in tact as the grandmaster of pygmydom himself. I suppose it is big of you to sit it out until it looks like Repubs are flailing for a leader and then insert yourself again as the conquering hero. Get your pointy hat out of the closet and start dusting it off, I suppose. Like, what the Repubs really need is a guy who can chase those pesky "independents" clean out of the Grand Ol' Party tent. Yeah.

So anyway, sure, I agree these debates are rather ridiculous. Stand up, smile, catch a few sound bite opportunity fish thrown your way by a guy you really can't stand. At some point, you just gotta figure the numbers aren't swinging your way.

But where is that point? Cut too soon, and you might miss the old front runner's campaign ruination. Cut too late, and you look like someone desperate for one last gasp at the gold ring. The real problem with hanging in too long is that you're siphoning must needed cash from the availability pool. The real problem with cutting too soon, is that you might've been able to cash in on some good opportunities... like taking the lead in numerous key polls.

When I first heard Romney was looking to make a go of it, I thought, "hey, cool, a righty Mormon from a lefty state. Might be fun." But I didn't give him a whole lotta confidence. I mean, come on, he's a Mormon. A good friend pointed out that to win in the east, you've got to compromise a few values. Poll numbers weren't looking all that great, anyway. Wrote him off.

I think, though, that Romney played this one smart. Needed name recognition, needed to overcome the Mormon thing. An early start was the only way to do it. Put the Mormon issue out there, let folks chew on it a bit, bait Sharpton to comment on it, and people realize how stupid the whole issue really is. That's out of the way. Focus on the early states for the name recognition. Do well enough there, and you'll get noticed the rest of the way.

This is a guy who has earned his millions. This is a guy who has turned many lemon into a nice refreshing summertime beverage. This is a guy who knows how to get people of influence to do things. I'm thinkin'... give this guy a chance, see what he can do.

For the rest of these guys, 1.2% is not gonna change all that much, especially with no money behind it. It's getting to be about time to start facing reality, and start thinking about climbing behind a champion.

The Cat's Meow

I would normally explain a link to someone else's post, but this one speaks for itself. Just read... but swallow whatever you've got in your mouth first.

A Man for all Women

So, I'm listening to NPR as they discuss the latest Demo Bros Three-Ring Debate. Hillary, who has hand crafted her own voting bloc of female hitmen to "get the word out", proclaimed herself to be the voice of women who have successfully sacrificed their own families for their careers. Suddenly, Johnny Ed quickly declared that he had already claimed said title, had a copyright on it, and would sue her if she did not take it back.

His wife backed him up on it. "Look at him," argues Mrs. Ed, "he looks more like a woman than Hillary could ever dream to be."

She then held up this poster, marked "Exhibit A".






"Oh, Yeah?!" retorted Hillary, in a moment of temporary sanity. "But can you do...


THIS?!"

I'll mark it "Exhibit B--".

Broad Support for Romney

Take a look a this map and see if you notice the same thing I do. As you click in the various candidates, watch the circles grow and shrink and move around. Blur your eyes a little and click back and forth, back and forth... you are growing very sleepy... you are in my power... click on Hillaryous... now Osam - er- Obama... now Romney... now Hillary... now Romney... now Hillary... now Romney... now Obama... now Romney... now Giulliani... now Romney... now McCain... now Romney... notice anything?

Now send me your wallet...

*Snap*

Welcome back.

Thanks to Hava for the link.

Create Your Own Protection

You know that natural reluctance to gun control because you are afraid that will only leave guns in the hands of criminals and you vulnerable to their demands? Well, here's the solution.

Going Topless in Britain

That's right. The English have decided to shed their tops and bare it all in open court. But then, we've already gone there here in the States.

Something About Fred?

A good friend of mine is getting excited about Fred Thompson. I have read a few things about him, and his interest in living in the White House. To be honest, there is nothing that really excites me about him right now. However, I reserve the right to change my mind as the season progresses. I am including a link to a website that looks like it might be the embryo to his presidential bid site.

In the meantime, take a look at this bit of Fred's writing. I think he does a service to those of us who enjoy the legal profession with a spark of aspiration toward politics. Thanks Fred. I'll keep watching.

Battle of the Bulge-Busters

How do you know when you're fat? How about when the office decides to have a contest to see who can lose 10 pounds the fastest, and it's hatched by two women who really have no reason to be losing weight, and the only person they approach about joining this "contest" is you. Hmmmmm.

Well, being the competitive sucker that I am, I threw in my ten dollars and boasted that I had lost thirty-five pounds in a month before, and I can drop this ten pounds in a week! Oops. Ok, so it was more like twenty pounds, and it took me all summer, and I was working in a hot factory for 40-50 hours a week, but I've still got it in me. Trust me, there is plenty of it in me.

That evening, as I was finishing my last supper, I planned my strategy... gorge on watermelon and drink a gallon of water just before my first weigh-in. Well, the water and melon didn't quite make it that far. After four midnight trips to the bathroom, I figured I ought to play this thing honestly, and me and the missus hauled out the long-forgotten Weight Watchers plan and hatched a for-real approach. We hit the WalMart for the necessary veggies, frozen dinners, itty-bitty diet cupcakes and On-the-g0 water enhancer flavorer packets.

Turned out, Anita is doing Jenny Craig, Teresa is doing the South Beach, and I am going to win with Weight Watchers.

Personally, I prefer the Baha'i Diet. Take the best of all diets, and indulge. One diet restricts your meat, but lets you eat bread. Another prefers meat, but no bread. WW lets you eat ketchup, sauces, and all the veggies you can stand. Put that together, and you've got the makings of a good hamburger. Now, if I could just find one that promotes cheese...

AlGore the Magnificent

So, flipping thru the channels Sunday night (yes, I am a sinner who occasionally watches tv on Sunday, but in this case, it turned out to be appropriate) and hit on C-Span. When who to my wondering eyes should appear, but jolly Father AlGore and his faithful minions preaching the gosthpel of global dethstruction. So I watched. I have often wondered what it would be like to go mindless for a while. Not mindless as in sitting around watching reruns of Hawaii Five-o, but mindless as in lead me oh great and powerful Al, in the path of lefteousness, that I may put my environment and my job and my hemp-woven tie dye before my family and my God.

So, he drivels. And he dravels. And now and then, he drovels. Finally, he announces that here with him, to support him in this great mission to which the mothership has called him, are two great performers... ready?... Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood?!! HOLD ON, I say. Man, that sucks (that they have embraced the gosthpel of Father AlGore), but, hey... free concert... man.

Then, just as they enter the stage...


"We now will take you to the conference on the soft dissolution of Iraq study group, pre-recorded from Thursday. This will last approximately an hour and a half."

Gee, C-Span, its no wonder your ratings suck.

Oops. Gotta run... America's Got Talent (Deficit) is just finishing up and I want to see if it's going to be the gay Russian, or the cross-dressing curly haired lez who acts like a man acting like a girl.

One Word

Honor.

A value not taken by oneself, but bestowed upon one by those whose respect one has earned.

He served with honor. A United States Marine.

Earned from those who trained him, those who trained with him, those who served with him, and those whom he has served, this value is one which we who have watched him grow, have placed on him and which is now rightfully his.

As he enters this next stage of life, may he learn the strength of this value, not so much as the one who possesses it, but as one who bestows it upon another.

I am honored to be called his brother. I am privileged to call him brother.

Best Wishes!

Pardon Me?

Take a gander at this beautiful expose written by Bill Clinton's political advisor of 20 years. Should Scooter Libby be required to spend time behind bars for lying to a grand jury? I don't really care. Most people probably wouldn't, either, except that we are supposed to, since this important incident has been plastered all over the news as just another reason not to like Bush. Who cares? Bush is on his way out, anyway, so it's not like he really needs to score points with anyone. Republicans are falling all over themselves to distance themselves from him, and there's not a Dem to be found who is willing to give him much credit for doing a good job in the White House. So really... who cares?!

But then, here comes the Clinton condemnation of the pardon. I guess Summertime is perhaps the best time for them to open mouth and insert foot, what with sunburned faces and all. Makes it easier to pass the red-face test.

Coulter... Controversial?! Say it isn't so!

OK. Personally, I don't much care for Ann Coulter. I understand what she is saying, and why she is saying it. Sometimes, I appreciate that she says some of the things she does. I have no problem with her speaking impassionately. For the most part, I think she is politically correct (although not necessarily in the contemporary context of that term). I guess I should rather say I think she is correct, politically. But sometimes, I wish she would just shutup. I would say that about several of the conservative commentators, as well. I know what it is like to try to make a point on the fly. You begin talking before your thoughts are complete and in order. Consequently, the way you word those thoughts can sound very immature or reactionary. I am afraid that Coulter suffers from many such unfortunate moments. But I appreciate what one writer said... something to the effect that she shocks us into dialogue over some important, but often taboo, subjects.

Unfortunately, she is also victim of editorial privilege. He who writes the news gets to shape it in whatever way he wishes. Without going directly to the source of her comments, particularly this last one about wishing John Edwards was killed by a terrorist assassination plot, many editors are allowing the comment to be understood as a personal wish of hers.

One in particular specifically states that she wished he was killed by assassins. Talk about fodder, Edward's campaign jumped all over it and raised millions of dollars. But what she really said was basically that if Bill Maher could publicly state his personal and sincere opinion that the world would be a better place if terrorists had killed our Vice President while he was in Afghanistan, to which there was very little public discussion, then maybe she can get away with saying that she hopes Edwards is killed in an assassination plot. This cannot seriously be taken as any sincere desire of hers, but only as an illustration of the hypocrisy of the left and those who determine what is to be public discourse. The current outrage certainly illustrates her point much better even than she did. Liberal Maher announces that he would have appreciated terrorists killing our VP, and nothing is said, while Conservative Coulter says what do you think would happen if I said I wish a presidential nobody candidate was assassinated, and the sh** hits the fan (as my mother used to say). I'd like someone to please justify this one to me.

Yeah, right.

Tag! I'm it.

What was I doing 10 years ago...
Enjoying my new wife.
What was I doing 1 year ago...
Learning to drive a bus.
5 snacks that I enjoy...
Dry roasted peanuts. (Preferably Planters)
Potato Chips.
Cheeto's new Cheesy Popcorn Puffs!
Black licorice.
Popcorn. (Quick story... When I was a boy, we had a tradition of making popcorn every Sunday evening. One day we didn't have any to pop, so my dad sent me to go ask the neighbor for... popcorn!?)

5 Songs I know the lyrics to...
The Devil Went Down to Georgia (he was looking for a soul to steal. He was in a bind, cuz he was way behind...)
The Star Spangled Banner
The Lady in Red
My Ding-a-Ling
My Little Buttercup

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire...
Finish school.
Buy a nice pen.
Buy a nice watch.
Get my suits taylored.
Ask my wife what I can do with the rest.

5 bad habits...
Snacking too much.
Chewing my nails.
Watching TV.
Dreaming of bigger things.
Clicking my teeth.
5 things I would never wear again...
Saddle back shoes.
Jeans with great big gaping holes in the knees.
Jordache jeans.
The same underwear three days in a row.
Silk shirt.

5 toys I love...
My laptop.
Legos.
My vertical smoker.
My flyswatter.
My wife.


Tag to... uh... uh... hmmm.

I FOUND IT!!!!!

Do you hear that? If not, hold on, you might just be slow. (If you still can't hear it, hit Refresh... or turn on your speakers. Or, you might just have to scroll to the bottom to get it to start playing... but then come back here, and enjoy.)

Hear it now? OK, good.

That, my friends, is satisfaction. Sweet, sad, soft satisfaction. That is the pinnacle of a quest which has lasted me for more than a quarter of a century.


Just listen...




Ahhhhhhhhh......





In case you're a little perplexed as to why this is such a special moment, let me reference you to an earlier post. HOLD ON. Wait until the song is over. You just can't interrupt a classic such as this.


(wait...)





(wait...)





(wait...)





OK. Now. (Come back when you are done.)



Almost exactly what had been running thru my head all these years, except I just couldn't remember all the words. So sweet and melodic, and sad, sad, sad.

Thank you for sharing this moment with me.

Now, if you'll scroll down to the bottom of the page, you will see a green box. These are just some other old faves. They brought me joy throughout the years. Feel free to click on any of them at any time.

When I was a wee one, I think the first radio song I ever learned to sing was "Seasons in the Sun". Again, here it is, in all its ballad-ical glory.

High on the Hog

Can you imagine the ribs coming off this guy? They say they can expect 700-800 pounds of sausage! Mmmmmmm....

Romney Takes the Lead

I found this tidbit of news a little interesting. I must admit that I have always been a little biased of Romney. As a Mormon, I would naturally like to see a fellow member living in the White House. I remember as a child, I thought Ronald Reagan must have been a Mormon. I haven't completely decided to endorse Romney... yet. I have been focusing more on my school work and less on the candidates. But in the little time I have devoted to the race, I have yet to find anything substantive that Republicans have found against Romney. I think he is doing a fine job overcoming the religion barrier. With that hurdle mostly gone, at least for the rest of the primaries, we can see more of his views and ideas about government. I must say, that so far I am impressed. I have no qualms with his explanation concerning his stance on abortion. While the timing appears a little suspect, he seems rather sincere about it.

What I really like about him is his success as a business leader and governor. His mannerisms are also such that I think he can rally people around him. He appears to have that charisma that draws people in. We need that right now. I think that of all the legitimate candidates out there right now, Romney would be the least divisive. In fact, I would go so far as to to predict that should he gain the White House, we might just have another Ronald Reagan.

I'm just sayin'...

Another Awesome Samoke

No pics this time. Forgot to charge the camera. Which is too bad, because these were a sight to behold! I'm still excited about it.

I was chosen to cook the meat for our J. Reuben Clark Law Society End Of The Year Picnic And Swim Party Get Together (Can I Come Up With Any More Words To Make This Any Longer Of A Title) Thingy. We were expecting about thirty people, so I fixed an ample supply of ribs. I cooked them in two shifts at six hours per shift, so it was a thoroughly enjoyable two days of samokin' ribs! My most satisfying moment came when it was time to cut them up. The knife went very smoothly in between the bones, slicing the meat as though it were butter. That's when I knew they were good. I made enough to fill a large, deep turkey roaster pan to overflowing! Of course, my taste testers were right there to perform their duties. I got the six thumbs up (they claimed they had to try an ample sampling before they would give the OK).

I did struggle a little with the pork roast, though. The first was a little on the tough side. The roasts heated up faster than normal, which I didn't expect with so much meat. But I got it done, shredded, and mixed in with a nameless-to-avoid-self-incrimination sauce. I then added five fatties, and about 15 roasted mice (see previous entry). The mice were extremely spicy, and only cooled down after four days in the fridge. But they were good, nonetheless.

The JRCLSEOYPASPGT(CICUWAMWTMTALOAT)T participants loooooved them. What they didn't eat there (about half, since only about 15 adults actually showed up), we split up and took home. Later reports indicated that they were even better several days hence.

That was, so far, the largest smoke I have done. It was also extremely enjoyable. My special rub added that sweet spice to the natural flavors of smoke and pork (although there were a few reports of some of the ribs being just a little too spicy - I'll work on that). Can't wait to do it again!

Y'know, if I were to get some out of town visitors for the upcoming Memorial Day Weekend, I might could be convinced to stoke it up. I'm just sayin'.

How NOT to rob a liquor store

Gotta Love Sam

Bless his heart.

Have you ever stepped in something that just wouldn't come off your shoe? So did Brownback. Poor guy.

I like Sam. I don't think he has the campaign elements for a sustainable run at the White House this time around. I wouldn't mind it if he did. He's genuine, very conservative, and seems to have a good head on his shoulders.

This story isn't a slam on the guy. Read it, and see if you don't just love him by the time he's through.

A Little Frightening...

As you know, the President vetoed the bill in which Congress legislated Congress to be the President. Bush commented that this seemed a little unconstitutional. Harry Reidiculous replied, basically,

to hell with the Constitution. We are the Congress, dammit, and it is our job to be president if we want to.

I am paraphrasing, of course, because mr. reid is a Mor(m)on who would say "heck" and "darndiddlydangit" instead. For you skeptics out there, who just have to have "the facts", here is what he actually said, after "bristling" at the claim:

"We are not going to be submitting our legislation to somebody at one of the law schools to look for its constitutionality. We have an obligation, under the terms of the Constitution, to legislate," he said. "That's our job."

I think I summed it up pretty well.

So do these...



These folks don't seem to think we have a constitution.





See that feller over yonder? He assures me that we still have a constitution.







Whaddyall think?








I am saddened this day to find that we do, in fact, have a constitution.

I Swear This is NOT Moving!

Sheryl Crow Makes Sense

Sheryl Crow is urging the use of only one sheet of toilet paper per visit. Personally, I think this is a grand and practical idea. In addition to saving our planet from global warming by overheated used toilet paper (the friction caused by the wipe generates a significant amount of heat that gets trapped in the fibers), we would also be promoting a healthier and more sanitary environment, as we would be forced to wash our hands and clothes more frequently. We would also avoid social and public congregations, for obvious reasons, further alleviating the environment of the cumulative build up of hot air.

Crow further proposes the removable sleeve, for wiping your mouth during dinner, or your nose during a cold, or your eye after a melee in the mosh pit at a Crow concert. This will alleviate the overuse of throw-away napkins and kleenex. The preservation of germs and viruses will keep people home more often, resulting in decreased productivity, resulting in fewer vehicle and factory emissions, and more time watching indoctrinational daytime talk-shows. (I just wonder what we will use to dab our eyes during the soaps.)

There is an economic advantage behind this innovative toilet paper idea. In a house full of girls, 32.6% of our annual budget goes toward the purchase of this household necessity. No longer would I be interrupted in the middle of Lost by the all-too-familiar phrase "Can someone bring me some toilet paper?!!!"

I Deliver!

I searched and searched. At first, all I could find was a hippo in a bikini...




But I knew that would not be enough for my devoted readers. So I kept searching, thru hundreds of disturbing pictures, to find this...





A monkey in a hula skirt (with a bikini top?)










Something told me this still wouldn't be enough for Big Mac, so I continued on my virtual safari. I finally found...












Are you happy now?!

Thanks, I think I'll go take a shower.

I love my wife!

My wife is awesome! She has really taken to this wave of reality shows, exposing me, in the process, to a wide world of diverse tastes and talents. But never have I appreciated this fascination as fully as I did this week.

Dancing w/ the Stars is a show about precision, technique, and talent. The idea is to take fading celebrities, some of whom you would probably never remember as having existed, and pay them to learn to dance. They work hard all week, and then perform on Monday night. This season has been rather uneventful. In fact, I was wondering if any of them were even taking this job seriously. So were the judges. Clyde the Jolly Green Giant seemed more concerned with scheduling tee times than whirling hips and throwing small ladies around.

Mr. Achy Breaky appears ached and breaked.

The former Mrs. McCartney's leg landed her on her buttocks.


Just as I was beginning to lose all hope, and start washing dishes...



Apollo and the Tiger Lady.








and...





and then...



Now, who couldn't appreciate fine ballroom dancing?

Thanks, Sweetheart!