Proletariat wins again!

Cool! We got a minimum wage increase! The economy is saved! And all is good in the world. The millions of parents who are still on their first job (you know the one they started at sixteen, and have never left, even though the only wage increases they have received in the last twenty years came from the government) can rejoice because now they can afford their rent. The government has felt their pain, and at long last has again forced those nasty business-type folks to give generously of their means to help their poor, exploited labor force. Of course, those poor folks won't be able to do anything more with their newfound wealth, since every store they buy from is also feeling generous and providing the same increase to their poor exploited laborer, and then kindly recouping their losses from their customers.

And those union guys can finally get that raise to bring them into the $65-$85 an hour range, since thier contracts are based on the minimum wage rates, and naturally they have really been struggling, what with raising 2.8 kids and having to pay an additional $20 each month of their own insurance. Now they can finally upgrade to the sparkly fishing boat with black specks in the carpet and get rid of that old trowler they have been shamefully forced to use for weekend recreation. Problem now is, do they strike over whether to be allowed to wear shorts to the company picnic at Six Flags, or over the more pressing matter of pushing for Fishing Days in addition to their Holidays, Sick Days, Vacation Days, Personal Days, Birthdays, Floating Holidays, Boss's Days, Union Employee Appreciation Days, and the monthly Company Picnic. If they're going to buy a boat, they at least deserve the courtesy and respect of the company to allow them time to use it.

Sadly, those of us who have not been paid minimum wage since junior high, yet have failed to securely latch onto the back end of the union bosses, find ourselves a few steps backward. After having worked for several years and earning our wage increases, and seeing our paychecks slowly reflect some contrast with the minimum wage, we have once again been slapped back down by those caring, feeling politicians. (Present company excluded, of course. I have been on a two week, unpaid vacation, waiting on my used-to-be-higher-than-minimum-wage job to start, after having recently moved the family here to Fayetteville.)

I shouldn't complain, though. I should rejoice. The Proletariate has scored yet another victory against those selfish bourgiousies. Go Proletariate. Yea, team! I guess, in a way, this has only brought more exclusivity to the work force. The logical argument is that a rise in the minimum wage will cut jobs, because now that a store owner has to pay an extra $2 an hour per employee, he can either raise his prices, or cut one employee for every four to make up the difference. (Or both) But he is not going to do that. No, he has a better idea. Now, he can pay less than he was paying originally by hiring illegal immigrants. In fact, he won't even have to pay their social security any more. (And you thought it was just that Americans were too good for those jobs.)

So here is the scenario. Almost all minimum wage jobs are held by teenagers, or adults who either can't hold a job long enough to get the raise after sixty days, or were teenagers just yesterday and are entering the workforce for the first time. Somehow, Congress is under the impression that those are the people who are supporting a family and deserve a raise (I guess they must have reviewed all those employee evaluation reports). Banking on all other economic factors remaining unchanged, they have mandated employers to give them more money. After an intense nationwide search, they have found the one person who actually was supporting a family on a minimum wage job, and can now claim to have championed the worker. Meanwhile, on the other side of our Southern Border, someone who really is supporting a family on less than a dollar a day is gearing up for a crossing, knowing that there are now millions more jobs in America offering eighty times more than what he was earning in Mehico.

Thanks, Congress! Check's in the mail! Shhhh....