Love Is

When I was in high school, curiosity brought me to a meeting of Students Against Driving Drunk. I've never been a fan of drunk drivers, and it always made me mad that they were getting off with a slap on the wrist and a wink. I was soon thereafter approached by a school counselor to represent the school at the state level. While I was tempted to accept the offer, there was something about the program that really bothered me. I finally realized that it was the focus. Driving Drunk. It was actually more about students trying to persuade drunk students from driving. For me, it seemed more logical to persuade students from drinking. Then I wouldn't have much problem with them driving. That, of course, didn't go over so well. Students liked to drink. Or so they thought. I don't know many of them who enjoyed the flavor. I think they liked to drink because they thought they liked to drink - because they thought they were supposed to like to drink. Maybe I am wrong.

I didn't like to drink. Neither did my friends. In fact, we can still recall most of our parties. We had a great time. We had alternatives. For us, we didn't focus on whether we were going to drink or not. In fact, it very seldom came up. We just liked getting together and finding things to do. No one had to worry about who was going to bring the beer, or how they were going to get it. We were more focused on what movies we were going to rent, or whose house we were going to hang out at, or who was going to drive while we cruised Memorial, or the Fontana.

Nor did we worry about birth control, or sexually transmitted diseases, or whether we were going to have sex, or whether we were going to deprive ourselves of sex. We knew we would wait. We also tried to avoid getting too promiscuous. Why? Because we were learning the value of a relationship that was built on friendship and courtship. We didn't use the term "courting", but we lived by its connotations. We understood what sex was. We knew what sexual activity was. But we valued respect above all else. And we found that our relationships with the opposite sex were stronger for it. We fell in love. We recognized love. Love, for us, was not an activity we arrived at, but an emotion we experienced on both long- and short-terms. We had girlfriends. And while we sure each one was "the One", we cherished the sweet, innocent emotion that bloomed as we developed a pining for each other. We had long-distance, short-distance, marathon and sprint romances. But our focus was not on whether we would score. Rather, we focused on whether this one would bloom; whether this would be "the One".

Abstinence education struck me as a little odd. It began just as I was leaving school, so I never really got into it. But from what I knew of it, and from what I had been taught growing up, I saw the wisdom in it, and was happy to agree with its message. But, as beautiful as the message was, it was certainly vulnerable to snide and snappy comedic attacks. And it seemed almost doomed. Why? I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Tonight, I can. For the same reason I had a hard time with the SADD - the focus. Read this article for more. I thought it laid it out pretty good. Abstinence is fine, but innocent romance is where its at.