Barak , for a Change

The Great One hath spoken - and the name he spake is 'Biden'. I am afraid I was asleep as the heavens parted. I am sure when the grand concourses of angels descend upon Mile High for the coronation of His Exhalted One, I shall be in the midst of school, or work, or eating dinner, or watching a movie with the kids, or maybe just sitting in the loo, reading.

There is really no need to watch it. I can tell you how this whole thing will play out:

The entire Mountain West will black out for exactly 45 minutes. This will be the direct result of the simultaneous plugging-in of 42,000 greenmobiles at the exact same time, a moment which will forever be remembered fondly by now-short-haired-hippies and wannabe hipsters, and beard-brandishing-back-to-nature-from-whence-I'm-sure-I-would've-come-had-my-conservative-parents-not-been-multimillionaires-AlGorians as the Great Power Outage of '08. Once power returns, Hillary will announce the official motto of the Demoncratic Party as "Bush Sucks". As the applause dies and the brown smoke begins to clear, Pelosi will then enter the Mile High to announce the official platform of the Demoncratic Party to be as follows:
'1. Change
2. Something about Change
3. Change...something something... Change
4. Let's make some changes
5. Change: Good
6. Department of Change
7. Spare change tax
8. Obama is now God
9. Bush sucks
10. No, change that last one to "Bush Sucks!"

At that point, Ing-Deng-Wang, the UN Secretary General, will rise to declare his support for Obama's campaign for World King.

The Right Reverend Wright will then rise to call upon all within the sound of his voice to take to one knee in humble reverence for Obama Almighty (oh, and to throw off the white yoke of oppression, while we're at it).

Biden will stand and speak for exactly 3 days, 2 hours, and 17 minutes, and still come across as an a$*ho^@.

Then the lights will dim, trumpets will blare, and a chorus of angels will sing His Name, as He Whose Name is Too Worthy for Mere Mortals to Speak enters the great chambers. All will hush and cry as His hand passes over their heads.

He will then address the world, giving them hope that the hour cometh when they shall be delivered from the evils now plagued upon them by this country he unfortunately must call home. He will express appreciation to the freedom fighters who have sacrificed so much for his cause. He will remind Americans of our duty to negotiate with those who strive for our extermination because our mere existence offends their god. Finally, he will remind us all that changety change change change.

And the crowd goes wild!

So saith I.