Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? Does Anybody Really Care?

OK. So I find this video report about the protests planned for the GOP convention, and the first line says, "If you think actions toward protesors against Democrats were big, wait until you see what's planned for the RNC convention next week."

So I says to myself, "Self," I says, "do you recall any news coverage of protests in Denver?"

"Well, not really," I answer. "Maybe I was just watching the wrong channel."

So, I google "protesters at DNC", and here, I discover why I didn't see any news coverage. There were no protestors!

That's right folks, none... save a few here and there. And they weren't even protesting against the convention, really.

How can this be? Well, uh, it's because the cost of gasoline has prevented people from making it. Yeah. I mean, it's in Denver. You'd have to drive, or fly, and and and they just can't afford to do that.

Young people - who have no families to care for, drive cheap cars, and usually buddy up to share rent - can't afford to drive to Denver?

I think they were a little closer to the reality of the situation when they mentioned that these young people don't think protesting is very effective. They just see people standing outside doing nothing and getting arrested, and then nothing changes.

I thought Obama was the inspiration to millions that change can happen.

Maybe young kids are just realizing how stupid it is to stand outside chanting stupid chants and holding cardboard signs. Or, maybe no one's volunteering to bring the beer.

Or maybe, just maybe, its just not that important to them.

Breaking News: Biden's Blunderings Redacted

I found a copy of Biden's notes for the speech writer. Though you might find this interesting:

"1. Let's see if we can't beef up this Obama plan a little. Like: You want
something? He'll give it to you. Free health care? It's yours. Cheap college?
You got it. Tax breaks? Yours. Barbecue'd ribs on every table and a hybrid
midget car in every garage? Yeah, baby! (Note: Scratch that last one... and get
me some of those ribs)

2. Let's see: a. The Bush administration has been
an abysmal failure. 2. Barak's positions are right because Bush is doing what
Barak said should be done. Hmmmm.
(I know the logical conclusion is either
that Barak's positions are abysmally felacious or that Bush's administration is
doing the right thing. But, just see if you can't hide them both in there.)

3. I know that I compared McCain's position on Afghanistan three years ago (when the oppressive Taliban
had been run out of town and a democratically elected government was looking
promising) with Obama's position less than two years ago (when things started looking a little sour), but, you know, I
mean, what else am I supposed to do when my guy just doesn't have a whole lot of
positive foreign policy statements?

4. Put something in there about how
much I love and respect McCain, so I can at least get the "bless his heart" in
there before I talk about how just sucks.

Oh, and, uh, change, uh...
something something token change, and uh, let's make change! Or something like
that.

Don't worry about making it coherent. Just get a few "Bush sucks!"
in there."

NOTE about his actual speech:
I will admit when I have been impressed. The first half of Biden's speech impressed me. The introduction by his son, and Biden's comments about his family and the lessons he learned from his parents and his overcoming obstacles gave me a new level of respect for Joe. Unfortunately, he somehow turned that into an "entitlement" speech, and then went off into misstated comparisons, etc., as you can see in those speechwriter notes. So now, instead of a major as$ho^e, he's been demoted to lieutenant as$ho^e.

Barak , for a Change

The Great One hath spoken - and the name he spake is 'Biden'. I am afraid I was asleep as the heavens parted. I am sure when the grand concourses of angels descend upon Mile High for the coronation of His Exhalted One, I shall be in the midst of school, or work, or eating dinner, or watching a movie with the kids, or maybe just sitting in the loo, reading.

There is really no need to watch it. I can tell you how this whole thing will play out:

The entire Mountain West will black out for exactly 45 minutes. This will be the direct result of the simultaneous plugging-in of 42,000 greenmobiles at the exact same time, a moment which will forever be remembered fondly by now-short-haired-hippies and wannabe hipsters, and beard-brandishing-back-to-nature-from-whence-I'm-sure-I-would've-come-had-my-conservative-parents-not-been-multimillionaires-AlGorians as the Great Power Outage of '08. Once power returns, Hillary will announce the official motto of the Demoncratic Party as "Bush Sucks". As the applause dies and the brown smoke begins to clear, Pelosi will then enter the Mile High to announce the official platform of the Demoncratic Party to be as follows:
'1. Change
2. Something about Change
3. Change...something something... Change
4. Let's make some changes
5. Change: Good
6. Department of Change
7. Spare change tax
8. Obama is now God
9. Bush sucks
10. No, change that last one to "Bush Sucks!"

At that point, Ing-Deng-Wang, the UN Secretary General, will rise to declare his support for Obama's campaign for World King.

The Right Reverend Wright will then rise to call upon all within the sound of his voice to take to one knee in humble reverence for Obama Almighty (oh, and to throw off the white yoke of oppression, while we're at it).

Biden will stand and speak for exactly 3 days, 2 hours, and 17 minutes, and still come across as an a$*ho^@.

Then the lights will dim, trumpets will blare, and a chorus of angels will sing His Name, as He Whose Name is Too Worthy for Mere Mortals to Speak enters the great chambers. All will hush and cry as His hand passes over their heads.

He will then address the world, giving them hope that the hour cometh when they shall be delivered from the evils now plagued upon them by this country he unfortunately must call home. He will express appreciation to the freedom fighters who have sacrificed so much for his cause. He will remind Americans of our duty to negotiate with those who strive for our extermination because our mere existence offends their god. Finally, he will remind us all that changety change change change.

And the crowd goes wild!

So saith I.

The Story of My Life

I thought today I would share a little about myself... you know, kind of a "This is Your Life" sort of a thing. So sit back and enjoy.


Let me start with the man who made all this possible... My Dad.

He was a typical teenager of the 50's... clean cut, sharp mustachio, smart, and of course, very handsome.

Hi, Dad.



It was no surprise to anyone that he would fall for the science fair beauty queen.










I, of course, came about through some miracle yet to be explained to me, in 1970.

Mom and Dad were so excited to have me!

Mom jokes that it was like pooping an elephant...

Isn't that sweet?









The 70's were a time of experimenting. I did my share.

First, I experimented with smoooooth and slick.

Then came the Brady Experiment...




The Mat seemed pretty groovin'...



But I finally cleaned it up a bit with a nice, soft Feather.


The Big Hair bands really touched me...



and I really dug Steve Perry... (Highway Run...sigh)


But I eventually had to clean it back up.



Following in the footsteps of my dear old Dad, I found the love of my life.




You know what they say about marriage...

Boy, did I pack it on!


I finally got myself put back together,

settled in,

and had few kids.



Life's been good.

If you want to have a little fun, try this site.

Obama Plan: Inflate the... Numbers

Obama makes the off-hand prediction that if all Americans would inflate their tires and maintain their vehicles regularly, we could offset all the oil we are losing by not drilling off our own shores. McCain calls him on it. Most of us realize how preposterous this is. But wait... suddenly there is all kinds of evidence that doing this would save more than quadruple the amount of oil anticipated from off-shore drilling.

Now, I know Time and CNN are media gods, and if they say it, it is true... but would it be so difficult for them to give us one (1) little bitty source? Maybe just a little insight into their calculations of how I can personally save one whole barrel of oil this year?

Let's see... inflating my tires... tried that... I pick up about one half mile per gallon. Using Time Magazine's method of computation, I am saving 400 gallons per year. (Prove me wrong.)

Maintaining my vehicle regularly. Change my oil every three months or 3,000 miles. At 5 quarts per change... per vehicle... I am using some 50 quarts of OIL per year. But I am gaining another half mile per gallon of gas. So, using the same scientific computation as above, I can not only cancel out all that oil, but decrease my gas consumption by... oh, let's see...(carry the 1)... 200 gallons per year. Let's make it sound really good, and say that each barrel of oil produces some 10 gallons of gasoline, and voila! Obama is not only on the right track, but has underestimated his own energy policy, as I am saving 60 barrels of oil this year!

Isn't number crunching fun? Using this method, I can save $30,000 this year by simply eating 1 egg and 1/2 piece of white toast for breakfast.

Seriously, do these number crunchers take into consideration the impracticability of rebuilding one's home to make it more energy efficient. From what I've seen, it would cost some $20,000 of remodeling to save $2,000 of energy per year. Over the course of 10 years, you'd wind up having to upgrade, at a cost of another $5,000 to $10,000. Not to mention the amount of interest your paying for your remodeling. The new appliances are all made with plastics... which come from... OIL.

And even if we could save some 200 million barrels of oil each year by inflating our tires, does that diminish the advantage of expanding our domestic drilling and building new refineries? Is it enough to simply decrease usage? Is it not plausible to decrease usage and increase production? If we do decide to save on oil, would it be so wrong if the oil we were saving on came from our own shores?

Come on, mass media people, do you really think we are so stupid that we don't know that inflating our tires increases fuel efficiency (and saves on tires)? But do you really believe that this is the key to breaking our addiction to foreign oil? Really?