I heart Algore!

I have a lot of short-sleeved shirts, and a few shorts. My wife put away the kids winter clothes a few weeks ago. I get up in the morning, and think about wearing shorts. But I can't. We had to pull the kids clothes out of storage. I found myself running late because I had to scrape the windshield. My car doesn't like to start in the cold. We have to run the heater at night to keep the girls healthy. There is talk of snow coming in this weekend. It didn't happen last weekend, but it was possible, then, too.

Why the sudden and strange cold weather? I guess Algore and his minions have done too good of a job. It turns out that Algore's jet, which we all (me included) mocked as being a little counter-productive to his message, actually had been modified to "de-burn" jet fuel, thus expelling cold gases. By zipping all over the world to promote his Nobel candidacy along with a little video about massive world destruction, he has actually been offsetting the exorbitant amounts of heat being generated by cattle ranchers, oil drillers, and Imus in the Morning. And his mansion, by burning more natural gas than a small country, like, say, India, has actually been ridding the world of this natural gas.

Apparently, though, this compacted burn has inadvertently created a vacuum in Central Tennessee, which has resulted in a suction of Arctic air pulling snow into New England, and, well, nobody really knows about the rest of the country that is not New England, so we can only speculate that it has gotten spread across the red states, as well.Personally, I like the cold weather, so I am now a big fan of Mr. gore, and I think we can all breath a sigh of relief. Just not all at once, since that would put too much hot air into the atmosphere, causing the global warming phenomenon that used to be called "summer".